I love the story of Nehemiah. A humble cupbearer for the king goes and rebuilds the walls of Jerusalem, a defeated city of the once great kingdom of Judah, while fighting off Sanballat and Tobiah, enemies of Isreal. There’s something so heroic about someone who can stand in front of rubbles and destruction of something that once was great and see that it can be great once again. Also, not only convincing others to help build it back but also to fight while building. I mean how talented could these people be? They know they meaning of multi-tasking. Each builder had materials in one hand rebuilding the wall and a sword to fight off the Ammonites and Horonites with the other. I can barely rub my belly and scratch my head at the same time! You think that would turn out to be one crooked wall! Unfortunately, rebuilding the wall was only half Nehemiah’s problem; read the rest of Nehemiah if you want to appreciate a persevering leader. Anyway, Nehemiah has always stuck with me because I feel like everything that I have gained has been by building with one hand and fighting off enemies with the other. However, in my case I constructed a lot of walls that I am frantically trying to tear back down. I have built mazes of fortresses around my heart that I haven’t let anyone near in years. Walls with concrete and mortar, having to be crushed down when I have little strength to obliterate them by. Thankfully, I take heart in Nehemiah’s words, “Our God will fight for us!” (4:20) Well, if God wants this heart, He is going to have to, because I have closed Him off in a small cell in the corner of all these walls, I can’t find Him at all. I will continue to fight off the demons, Lord, you knock down the walls, and somewhere we will reunite in the middle. Let’s rebuild this temple that once was completely yours to inhabit
2 comments:
Who reads Nehemiah anymore?
Wow, couldn't let that be your only comment. "Jeez, who reads the bible anymore???" Give me a break :)
I wish I had words to encourage or help you find your way. I don't know why it's so difficult for you to find what you are looking for. Or, maybe, you are searching for something that I can't even begin to think as deeply as you are about your relationship. Either way, your struggle continues to remind me that people who are destined to be great are the ones attacked by demons. THEY are the ones that the devil is worried about and is trying to get to. I need to be careful when I'm not being bothered because I'm probably not being productive. I also have a hard time letting people into my little comfort zone, so I can't tell you to throw yourself out there and live. Do what makes you happy though. Find your way through the labyrinth and find ways to put yourself "out there" and know how to catch yourself and bounce back if you fall. Love you girl, ttyl!
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